EXPOSE'   . . . The bi- monthly newsletter . PRESIDENT & PUBLISHER: JC SANDEEP HEBLE EDITOR: JC ABHIJIT DALVI EDITORIAL BOARD: JC WILLY GOES VOL 4- ISSUE 1

ARTICLES

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 While bearing a grudge shows you mean business and aren't going to be pushed around, you need to know when it's appropriate to hold on and when it isn't. A good, healthy grudge has to be both principled and personal. It has to be based on something that can't be overlooked because to do so would be to violate your sense of who you are and what you believe. But if you often feel hurt, slighted and indignant about the way you've been treated, take a step back. Ask yourself if you're letting things get out of proportion.

If you are one of those who take umbrage of the smallest things it's important for you to learn when to shrug of a slight, whether it's real or imagined.

It's understandable to feel bitter and resentful if the other person has betrayed your trust and hurt you really badly, or you just know that though they've said sorry they don't mean it. It's also hard and inappropriate to forgive someone who keeps on hurting you by how they behave. If, however much you try, you can't just let them off the hook, ask yourself why. But remember, harbouring hatred can become dangerous, specially if it starts to get out of hand, and all your time and effort is focused on paying them back rather than getting on with your own life and enjoying it. Some people fester for weeks, months or even years. And life's far too precious and short for that.

It can take much time and effort to forgive someone- even if you can't forget. But eventually you should be able to put the grudge aside and move on. After all, the best revenge of all is acquiring a state of happiness that's untainted by hard feelings.

Hate has its uses too. Think about all the stuff you loathe and you'll learn a lot of about yourself. A lot of you're your hated could be passing fancies. They come and go.

Let's see what your Hate list would look like

I hate people who have no sense of humour.

I hate people who takes every thing lightly.

I hate male chauvinists.

I hate onions.

I hate alcohols, smoking.

I hate getting older

I hate&ldots&ldots&ldots&ldots&ldots&ldots&ldots..

n I hate&ldots&ldots&ldots&ldots&ldots&ldots&ldots..

(You can write down list of your Hates)

So now you know more about you than ever before. You are vain, eat Jain Bhelpuri, are fun-loving. Come to think of it, my own list would also feature innocuous peeves, which are not earth shaking.

But do realize that you're left out some awesome realities? Your major hates:

you hate all the things that you wish you could change about your life, your neighborhood, your city, your country, and the world. You hold on to these hates. You must, for good reasons. There is a saying since 600 BC " Anybody who wants to attain a certain virtue cannot succeed unless he first hates the vice. Do you long for humility? Then hate haughtiness. Do you wish to be temperate? Then hate gluttony. If you wish to be an alms giver, then hate the greed for money!"

The wise man didn't say: Look, if you want to be humble, then you have to really love humility". What he said was that if you really want to develop an admirable personality, you're going to need some high-octane hatred.

Remember Love doesn't make the world go round. It makes it stand still. It takes hate to make it spin in the right direction.

So if you want the world to revolve to some purpose,

Act upon the things you hate.

You're bound to get a whole lot done.

  . . . Jc Sunil Goel(by email)